How Do You Solve A Problem Like the Neoliberal Academy?

How do you solve a problem like the neoliberal academy?
How do you catch their spin and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means the neoliberal academy?
A PR release? A digital app? A killer clown?

Many a thing you know they'd like to sell us.
Many a fraud we ought to understand!
But how do you make them stop,
And listen as standards drop?
How can you steal supply and meet demand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like the neoliberal academy?
How do you eat the future with your hands?

Goods and money get confused,
All the teachers just get used,
While administrators multiply at will...
Unpredictable your fate,
Until Death demands his date:
You’re a cypher! You're a loser! Take a pill!

All that's solid melts in air,
Individualize your hair,
Education's just like tee vee, if you're hip!
MOOCify the classroom, stat!
All the think tanks tell you that.
School's a TED Talk!
Feudalism!
Sinking ship!

How do you solve a problem like the neoliberal academy?
How do you stop them while they tear it down?
How do you find the words that scream neoliberal academy?
A faculty of temps? Thought Leaders and pimps? A company town?

Many a con you know they'll try to sell us
Until the day we finally understand,
That nothing will make them stop,
But fighting back they drop!
Can't you see ruination 'cross the land?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like the neoliberal academy?
Now you must see the future's in our hands.